Are You Giving Your Marriage the Leftovers?
Your spouse may have received your best while you were dating, but is your marriage now getting whatever is left after work, children, commitments, technology, and everyone else?
In this episode, I’m joined by my husband, Zane, to talk about how to protect your marriage before disconnection turns into a crisis. After 38 years of marriage and eight years of leading a small group for young married couples, we’ve seen how easily good things can begin competing with the relationship that should be receiving our best.
We’re getting honest about our own independent tendencies, the areas where we still need to improve, and the boundaries every couple should consider around calendars, children, technology, outside relationships, parents, and in-laws.
Whether you’ve been married for two years or forty, I hope this conversation encourages you to identify one boundary you can strengthen this week so your spouse feels chosen—not simply given what is left over.
What to Expect in This Episode:
- Why your marriage should receive your best instead of whatever is left after work, children, friends, church, and other commitments
- Why Zane believes your marriage should have veto power over your calendar
- The importance of consulting your spouse before making major commitments, purchases, or travel plans
- What our experience with buying a farm taught us about independent decisions in marriage
- Why couples should protect their mornings and evenings together, and how to stay mindful of phones, extra work, and busy schedules that creep in
- Why a child-centered home can unintentionally push your marriage aside and how prioritizing your spouse gives children security
- The boundaries couples should consider with friends, coworkers, coaches, pastors, and other outside relationships
- Why transparency with phones, passwords, texts, business travel, alcohol, and private conversations matters
- How emotional and physical affairs can begin slowly and why couples need safeguards before temptation arises
- Why couples should continue practicing the curiosity, affection, and fun that brought them together
- How a weekly 15- to 20-minute marriage check-in can uncover concerns before they become a crisis
- How to set united boundaries with parents and in-laws around holidays, family gatherings, and other expectations
- The reflection questions that can help you choose one marriage boundary to strengthen this week
Links & Resources
- Genesis 2:24
- A Life Update: The Story Behind Our New Lake Home
Where to Listen
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Enjoyed This Episode? Check These Out!
The Marriage Check-In That Reveals More Than You Expect
38 Years of Marriage: What We Got Right (& What We’d Do Differently
